Shards
by G.E Vens
Summary: When Kurt and Blaine's Car explodes with Kurt and Leah their daughter still inside, Blaine has to deal with his grief and all the other problems that come his way.
1. Bad feelings

How could he so this? What about Leah? How did I not know about this? What happened to boy I love?  
Let me start at the beginning. I'm Blaine Anderson-Hummel I was-is married to Kurt Hummel-Anderson. We have a daughter called Leah. They are my life.

The day my life ended was a gloomy one, one that shock our small community to it's core.  
We were driving back in my from Ohio after visiting Kurt's father,Burt. it had been a happy day but I couldn't get rid of the lingering darkness. Nothing seemed quite right from the way Kurt walked to the way Burt took extra care of Leah as if he knew something was going to happen.

After a tiring day we reluctantly got back into my small Fiat 500 -Kurt's Mercedes C-class left at home. "We've been keyed." said Kurt without any surprise on his voice. Looking as if she was about to cry, Leah, our four-year/old daughter asked " Daddy why did someone try to kill our car?" At that moment I had no idea but looking in to Kurt's familiar eyes I knee that h knew; I sure hoped it wasn't a warning.

But It was.

After calming Leah down, which took a considerable amount of time, the three of us go in the car and started to drive home. After half an hour of driving and a packet of jelly babies, it started to rain, not the joyful, warm kind that you get in June nor the dark, cold kin that you get in December, this was more foreboding, upsetting if you will. The atmosphere in the car turned from a exhausted yet mildly happy to one that resembled the rain outside of our auto-mobile. Turning on the radio helped cheer us all up, mainly because our favourite song started playing:  
"Well sometimes I go out by myself  
And I look across the water  
And I think of all the thing that you do  
and in my head I paint a picture."

Well all chirped in cheerfully regardless of meaning of the song lyrics. With all of us three cheered up I decided to fill up for petrol, as we were running low. Pulling off the motor-way I turned down the radio for a swore that I heard a ticking noise; similar to the one a clock makes whilst counting down the second to the end of school. Nope. Nothing. No noise at all.

As I got out Kurt and I continued our conversation about who should have won the voice. I finished fillin up our car. I could swear there was a ticking noise. Just as I was about to turn around and pay Leah lumped something in her sleep which made me look around my perfect, little family. Did I know what was going to happen next? Honestly no. But deep down I knew this was going to be the last time I was going to see them.

I turned around and just as I was about to enter the little shop to pay, BOOM. The car with the two people I was certain I loved transformed right before my eyes into a fireball.


	2. Waiting

Before the explosion even left my ears I knew their lives were over. So was mine. I didn't care that windows were exploding or that the petrol station was now engulfed in flames. A fire engine came and went after the fire was extinguished.

I caught a glimpse of the charred frame of what was once my car; I knew in there were the remains of my family. I walked over to the car, even though I knew I shouldn't, I peeked in the in the passenger seat was my husband- or what was left of him. His burnt body lying there, his mesmerising sea-green eyes burnt out of his skull, I couldn't see his expression on his melted face but I could picture it. Tears streaming down my face, I saw her. Leah was curled up in the back seat splayed across her booster. This hurt me the most, maybe it was because she was so young and innocent or because I could tell that she had tried to escape her death but she was mine and now she was death's.

I couldn't take it any more I collapsed there crying out for some kind of relief. The car was burning my skin but I was nothing compared to the pain I felt inside.

I don't know how soon it was but an ambulance came. They knew it was too late for Kurt And Leah but they picked my distraught body up and carried it to the ambulance. I didn't try to fight it.

I waited, I cried, I prayed, I waited, I cried, I prayed this was all I did for the next few hours until there was a knock at my hospital door. Bur entered the room, his stained eyes made it clear that he had been crying. In the small hospital room no words were spoken but they weren't needed. Burt, feeling the same pain as I was, gradually made it to the bed I had been sitting on motionless and embraced me.

His hugs were the same as Kurt's, warm and comforting, this not only made me long for my husband but also for love that I had only ever felt with him. Burt was like a father to me and I knew he felt the same way. We sat there hugging each other, our tears mixing and collecting In a puddle.

The suddenly, without knocking, a police officer walked in. Looking us both straight in they he uttered four simple words that pierced my soul,"It was a bomb."


	3. Barrington and Croft

**A/N: Guy thankies if you are reading this it means a lot to me and I'd love it you reviewed it so I could improve. This chapter is going to be the longest I have done so far because I combined the two chapters. I hope you like it. :) a mahoosive thanks to my Betas Kathryn and Jenn. I love you ladies**

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Those four simple words pierced my very soul. They destroyed what little hope I had. 'Someone wanted to do this to them? To my family? Why did this happen?' I questioned no longer holding back the tears that I had been suppressing for so long. 'That's what we need to know Mr Anderson-Hummel. Do you mind coming to talk to us about the events of today.' Replied the Police officer with not the slightest bit of emotion in his voice, 'Mr Hummel,' he turned to Burt, 'We'll be back in a short while. Do you mind waiting here whilst I speak to Mr Anderson-Hummel?' He spoke to Burt in a softer tone than he could ever speak to me in- I have a feeling why that is. He turned on the spot and left the room.

Tears streaming down my face, I turned to the man who is now the closest thing I have to a family and I embraced him. That simple gesture-one used so much- gave me hope and the inner strength to talk to the police. I need to thank him; not just for the hug but for being my father figure for the past ten years, 'Mr Hummel, I-'

'Stop right there Kiddo.' He'd never been able to drop the nickname but in a weird way I sort of liked it, 'Call me Burt we've known each other since you were sixteen I think we can drop the formalities. Secondly, you don't need to thank me. I'd do anything for you, Blaine. Now go in there and tell them the truth of what happened. For Kurt..' I nodded and walked away still trying to take in what had just happened.

I walked out of the door. There were two police officers. One, the forty something year old, balding man who spoke to me in the waiting room, who's name I learnt was D.I Croft. The other, a blonde woman who couldn't have been much older than me. 'My name is D.I Barrington.' Started the blonde woman, 'I know you have had a lot to deal with today but it would be really great if you came to talk to us.' She was so nice as if she knew what just what I was going through, yeah right, no one knew what I was going through. At least she was nice, nicer than D.I Croft could ever be. It was Croft's turn to speak in this well rehearsed scene, 'Now Mr Anderson-Hummel, we wont pull you into the station as at this point as you aren't a suspect so at the moment we'll speak to you here. Bear in mind that your status can change at any time.' I was sure that Croft had already made his mind up about me and my husband.

We walked down the corridor; the three of us. Not the three people I wanted it to be. Not me, my husband and my daughter. Not my family. Me and two police officers walking down a never-ending corridor only to walk into a dark room where they will ask me lots of questions about how my family were blown up. I am not ready for this but I have to do it-for Kurt and Leah and Burt and for me.

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D.I Barrington opened the door for both of us, I noticed Croft didn't thank her, I, being the better person, thanked her. The light bulb which had just been turned on glowed an orange in the closed off room. In the middle of the grey room was a table with three chairs positioned around it, two on one side. On the table lay a tape recorder- you would've thought they'd be able to afford more sophisticated technology. 'Sit.' Demanded Croft a little resentment in his voice. I daren't disobey a direct order from a Police man, even if he was one of the most stuck up man I have ever met and that includes my father. Plunking myself on the chair I noticed how cold and uncomfortable it was almost as if it didn't want me to sit there.

'Are you ready to answer these questions Mr Anderson-Hummel?' Asked Barrington with care not to scare me off, not much help that did. I just nodded.


	4. questions and Answers

After several seconds of tense staring, D.I Croft got up and walked across the room to a box that I hadn't noticed when he walked into the room. From the racket that followed I guessed that there was a lot of equipment in there. 'Ah here it is!' exclaimed Croft instantly break some of the built-up tension in the room, he must have been exaggerating the searching as what he pulled was a tape recorder- not a small, modern one but a large chunky one that must have been at least ten years old- it must have taken up the majority of the box. After plugging in the recorder, he plonked himself back on the chair and pressed the record button.

Now comes the questions, I predicted. 'What relation are you to the deceased?' Dived in Barrington. I was taken aback by the harshness of her first question- I still hadn't fully excepted that my family was dead, 'Urm, well, Kurt is my husband and Leah is my daughter.' I answered with no problem. 'Husband? Ugh,' said Croft as if he had said the worst swear word, 'I'm sorry I just don't think being gay is a wise lifestyle choice.' Finished Croft brutally. 'Daniel!' Shouted Barrington, 'I don't think that is appropriate. Do you?' she asked turning to me.

'Don't worry it's fine. I'm used to it. Do you mind if I do this another time? I just really need some time to myself.' I asked. I really didn't want to do this in front of Croft... or at all.

'It's fine just call us when you are ready.' She said handing me her card.

Trying desperately to hold in the tears I got up and walked out the door and ran back to the room where I had left Burt. I just wanted to let it all out and cry. Burt understood. Burt was trusted. Burt was the only one who knew. However, when I got to the room it wasn't just Burt that was sitting around dealing with the sad, sad news. As I walked in the room I felt several pairs of eyes looking at me. I walked across the room not saying a thing and let myself fall into a chair in the corner. I looked around the room five new bodies were in the room: Carole, Kurt's stepmother; Kurt's step brother, Finn, holding Rachel who happened to be Kurt's best friend; Santana, my long-time best friend and next door neighbour and Quinn who was carrying our baby- I didn't even think about them in the previous hours.

'So?' Burt asked waking everyone up from their daze. 'It didn't happen. Well they asked me one question and one of the interviewers was a homophobic pig so I said that I didn't want to do it.' I answered bluntly. 'WHAT!?' Exclaimed Finn standing up in rage, 'I'm going to go out there and knock his he-' 'FINN!' Scolded both his mother and his wife in unison. I couldn't help laughing at this strange occurrence. As soon as the moment passed, I instantly felt guilty- am I even allowed to laugh when I had just lost the two people that mean the most to me? At this thought, I looked around the room and realized that even though I had lost the love of my life and my daughter in one day I was not alone. I had my mother and father-in-law and my best friends who have given me some of the best times of my life. I was crying again, not because of Kurt and Leah but because of my friends and family because of the love I felt for these people and because they loved me back. Looking up through the tears in my eyes, I looked around the room and uttered, 'Thanks.' Confusion spread through the room and I felt that I needed to justify myself, 'Not just for being here today but for everything you've done for me, Kurt and Leah over the years. And most importantly for supporting, helping and loving us and now I know that even though Kurt and Leah aren't here I know that I'm not alone. Ha I think I've just gone through all the stages of grief.' Quinn got up, tears in her eyes, and waddled over to me I hugged her and my baby, that was due in two weeks no less, and I came to a realization. She had already given up Beth and she was going to do the same in two weeks with my son. 'Keep Edward. I mean it just do it.' Quinn was about to cry but all she managed was, 'No. We'll both look after him. And he will learn about Kurt and Leah.' All I could do was nod and hug her. Rachel, being her old self got up and started clapping until Santana gave her her signature bitch stare.


	5. Bodies

**a/n: Apparently I'm meant to put a disclaimer so urm I don't own anything yeah there you go. Anywho here's chapter 5 I'm hoping to write more often but who know. I can't really say that it wont stay this depressing forever because it may- yes I like writing depressing things. So that's all from me right now I'll see you on the other side :) xoxox ~Gracie P.S I'm thinking of putting this on wattpad/scarves and coffee yay or nay? P.P.S I'm good with you sending me constructive criticism in fact I like it so yeah feel free to invade my pm**

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We talked into the early hours of the next day barely touching the day's events- it was all so painful and raw, until a young, blonde doctor walked in asking for me. 'Mr Anderson? Uh we need you to identify the bodies.' He asked me scared of the reaction.

'Urm yeah sure.' I had no idea what I was letting myself in for.

'You want me to come with you kiddo?' Burt asked sensing the reluctance in my voice. I nodded.

We walked down the hall I had walked down earlier in the day. This time, however, it was a very different situation. As opposed to feeling tense an nervous about being asked questions by the two police officers that were escorting me down the corridor, I felt strangely calm even though I was about to identify the bodies of my family I knew I wasn't alone.

As we approached the end of the corridor, The doctor's phone went off, yeah.. oh okay..urm good idea...I'm sorry guys do you mind waiting out here? There's something we need to uh decide before you see the bodies.' He said and without waiting for our answer he walked off and went into the room at the end of the corridor. My watch was taken off me and there was no clock on the walls of corridor so I have no idea how long we waited but I guess it was about twenty minutes. During that time, I didn't speak to Burt and he didn't speak to me for we knew what was coming. We knew that we were about to see two loved ones but what we didn't know was what state their bodies were in. No one could foretell what horrors lay ahead.

When the Doctor, whose name I still don't know, re-entered the corridor, he had some news for us, 'Unfortunately, we are unable to let you identify the bodies as they are urm... they're in a state that is unidentifiable I s'pose.' He joked in a cruel manor.

'Well what are you going to do about it then?' Burt snapped uncharacteristically. He had clearly had enough of the hospital and their rather unhelpful staff. The Doctor was clearly taken aback, 'Well urm... we will send them off for DNA testing, which could take a matter of weeks, and then we'll know a- if it's them and b- how they died.' I was done with this hospital, with these emotions, this day, I had just had enough, 'Look I've had the worse day imaginable, my husband and daughter have died, I've seen their bodies burn inside my car which was blown up by a bomb which was placed there on purpose, I have been interviewed by a homophobe and been told that Kurt and Leah's dead bodies are to burnt and damaged to be recognised by Burt and myself. I'm going home...well back to Quinn's. I need to be with her to discuss...things. So au revoir I'm done with today.' That felt so good to get out. I just feel sorry for the poor doctor that was on the receiving end- he was cute as well.

I stormed off leaving dumbstruck doctor and a proud father-in-law: he didn't know I could be so badass. I pooped my head around the door of the room most of my friends had been sitting when I left. Everyone had left except Quinn and Santanna. The two people that I'll be living with until...well until I can face going back into the house that I'd bought three years previously with my now dead husband. 'You ready? I want to get out of here as soon as possible,' I asked the girls.

'Yeah let's go sweet cheeks.' Santanna said getting up and slapping my arse- as always making me feel uncomfortable. I'm presuming that I made an uncomfortable face as Quinn started to giggle in the corner. I walked over to Quinn and helped her get out of her chair- she needed help seeing as she was heavily pregnant and we left the room where I had experienced a roller-coaster of emotions over the previous day and I the rest of my life which I faced without Kurt. I don't know how I made it through but I did and I'm stronger because of it. But back then, I felt as if I couldn't do it as if I couldn't face the cruel world that we lived in without the strongest man I knew as if a life without him wasn't living. But of course my friends made sure it was even if I couldn't see it yet.


	6. Life as I knew it

**A/N This one will probably be quite short as the next chapter is gonna be BIG. Thanks for the support guys and for sticking with me. xoxo~Gracie **

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The drive form the hospital wasn't that long, mainly because Santana hasn't driven inside the seed limit since she was seventeen, I chose to sit in the back, and with Quinn and Santana chatting noisily in the front it was probably the best choice to make. I'm still surprised that I wasn't scared of being in a car seeing as last time I was sitting in a moving car it exploded killing my husband and my daughter. However, I did wish that the journey was a bit longer, giving me more time to think about the day's events.

When we got back to Quinn's place it was just after 7am- that was almost 20 hours after Kurt and Leah had died. Even though I had spent so much time at Quinn's house I felt differently and I suddenly realized why, 'Hey, you know they say "home is where the heart is" I didn't believe this until today. Until I lost Kurt and Leah and now I don't want to go back to our house with all of the memories. I love you two and I don't ever want to live apart from you.' The words poured out of my heart. Quinn was crying... so was I and even Santanna the stone cold bitch looked as if she was going to start sobbing any second now. 'You want to live here don't you? Sell your house and live with me; start a new life and forget the horrible situation in which Kurt and Leah died?' Quinn managed rather well considering she was crying. 'Yes.' I answered truthfully, 'But not necessarily here. We could live anywhere in the world so why here in Ohio? Why not New York or LA or Texas or Paris?'

'I'm up for it if you are.' Santana agreed, 'I rather like the idea of moving to Paris or London; I can move my fashion business anywhere it doesn't matter.' Santana was always up for an adventure- they never normally happened though. 'No. We can't I mean think about Edward is due in two weeks we can';t travel with a newborn we can't take off like that we're not eighteen any more. Maybe your job can take you anywhere San but Blaine has a job here and so do I. We'd need to sell both houses fist and who knows how long that could take and Sam finishes touring next month... He wont want to move will he? I want to move as much as the next girl but just not now.' Quinn spoke a lot calmer and more sensible than I had seen her in a long time. We both knew she was right. We sat in the living room in silence for fourty five minutes. Just us alone with our thoughts reeling from the last 20 hours.

'I need some sleep.' I said not even realizing what was going on any more. I just walked out of the room and into the spare bedroom where Kurt and I had stayed so many times. I slept in my clothes not caring about the ash and blood on them that will be left on Quinn's sheets. I cried myself to sleep and if you could cry in your sleep I'm sure I would do it. Everything has changed from life and I knew it


	7. Bump

**A/N: LONG CHAPTER YAY! xoxo Gracie **Fundamental chapters in life can begin and end at unexpected time in your life like falling in love, like proposing to the love of your life the same day he was planning to do the same to you or like your husband and daughter dying but some thing are planned down to the very last detail like a wedding or like the birth of my son, Edward Kurt Hummel. Kurt was maticulous about planning he kept books and notebooks about how everything should be. Our wedding was SO planned that it was even what people wore was planned. Even though Kurt wasn't there to see it Edward's birth was just as planned. We tried to keep it just how he would want it but when Quinn went into labour in the middle of the night. Here's the story of how it all unravelled.

'Blaine honey,' Quinn said knocking on my door at three in the morning, 'I think we need to go to the hospital.' I was half asleep until I heard the word 'hospital' and then I shot into action, 'Go amigo go. SAN GET UP WE'RE GOING TO THE HOSPITAL! Quinn baby let's get you in the car.' I barked orders taking the role that Kurt would normally take. I put some clothes on and grabbed the baby bag that was placed inside the make shift nursery we'd compiled in the 2 weeks I'd been living with Quinn and Santana. When I opened the door I saw Santana stumble out of her room wearing the shortest skirts and sheerest top possible, 'What there could be a hot nurse.' She 'justified' herself. 'Look we really need to go now. I have a person coming out of- uhhhhh.' Quinn stated having a contraction halfway through er point. 'That's it,' I barked, 'Everyone in the car no nonsense go!' With that we maneuvered ourselves through the boxes scattering the 4 bedroom, semi-detached house and got into Santana's Mercedes' c-class (being a successful fashion designer pays off) and drove to the hospital- this time driving close to the speed limit.

I sat with Quinn in the back, helping her through labour (even though she had done it before I wanted to be there for her) 'Blaine,' Santana started halfway though the journey, 'Do you think you should call Burt and the others?' I looked at Quinn; I didn't want to let go of her hand. She nodded signaling her permission to let go. I dialled Burt he didn't pick up but I left a message any way, 'Hey Burt! I know it's three in the morning, well it is when i left this, but just to let you know that we ar eon our way to Mount View Hospital and we'd love it if you could join us for the birth of your grandson. See you soon, Blaine.' I hung up leaving a message that sounded more like a text or a party invitation but hey it's half three in the morning. I texted the others- my phone anxiety getting the better of me.

We arived at the hospital in record time- maybe because it was at 3am there was no traffic on the roads- and even though it was the hospital where I had spent most of thst fateful day the smell of the hospital made me gag remebering that day but I got over it for Quinn's sake. As soon as we entered the hospital, a nurse saw Quinn in agony and grabbedhher a wheel chair. 'San you go and sign in for me whilst they take to my room.' Quinn ordered, calmer than I had seen her all morning. I escorted Quinn to the private room that Kurt had pre-booked months ago and helped her into the hospital bed.

The next few hours was a blur of pain, pushing and then ecstasy when Edward was finally bought into this world and 7:46 weighing 6 pounds 7 ounces. 'Here you go daddy.' The midwife said placing my son in my arms, I had cried a lot in the past two weeks but these were happy tears, 'He's beautiful,' I started, Edward opening his eyes as I spoke,' He has Kurt's eyes. Kurt's beautiful blue-green eyes. I don't ever want to let him go.' I saw Quinn look longingly at him, 'Do you want to hold him Q?' She nodded as I placed Him in her arms, 'I know he isn't mins as such but I love him,' She managed. 'Hey! Don't say that he's yours too remeber? We're going to raise him all together. You, me San and Sam.' I hadn't told Santana that she'll be there too and she looked stunned, 'Wait you want me to help?' She asked questioning my motives. 'Yeah. Well if you want to that is.' I answered not sure of how she would react. Santana, overcome with emotion, got up, walked over to me and hugged me the hardest I'd ever been hugged.

We sat one the bed taking turns holding Edward for an hour until Burt came crashing in, 'Where's my grandson?' He exclaimed breaking the silence. 'Here. Come have a look. Santana may even let you hold him.' I said winking at Snatana who had been holding him for the last twenty minutes. She took that as her queue to get up and had him over to Burt. 'Oh my...wow he's...wow.' We didn't question Burt's eloquence (or lack there of) because we all felt the same. 'Kurt would be so proud of all of you guys working together and of Edward. He has Kurt's eyes you know the same eyes that his mother had in fact.' Burt said looking at nothing but his grandson's face. Santanna and I stayed with Quinn and Edward all day and Burt stayed until lunchtime promising to get back as soon as possible. Lots of people visited: Quinn's mum, Mike and Tina- back from their honeymoon, Finn and Rachel, Artie and Sugar came along with little Freddie, we skyped with Sam (Quinn's fiance) as he was still touring Europe and finally, my mum came a visited. I hadn't seen her for years and all of a sudden she turned up out of the blue yes I was happy to see her but I couldn't help being surprised, 'Blaine baby.' She said looking directly into my eyes, 'I'm sorry I've been such a bad mother but your father... well I'm not going to revisit that chapter. But I'm here for you now. I'm here for Edward and I don't want to miss out on any mor of my beautiful son's life.' These were the first words she had spoke to me since I was 19 and yet for some reason I forgave her. Maybe it was because I had recently learnt that family is still family and that you always need tham or maybe because I knew that she never wanted to cut me out that it was my father who wanted nothing to do with me and that she was silenced. 'It's okay mama.' I said getting up from the comfy armchair I had been sitting in all day. 'I know it wasn't your fault.' I finished walking over to her adn embraced my mother for the first time in almost ten years. She still wore the same perfume and wore the same shoes. I felt like I was ten again but of course I wasn't, 'Hey you wanna meet your grandson?' I said taking Edward out of his cot- he'd spent most of the day being held by different people but this time it was by his grandmother who was going to make up for lost time nd who I knew was going to love him forever, 'He's beautiful. Blanie baby I'm so proud. I don't ever want to let him go oh my he has your hair doesn't he? I only just realized that. He's so pefrect.' She went on like this for about five minutes but none of us cared we all felt the same about him.

When the midwife came in at half 10 and said that we could go home we were happy to oblige. It had been a long day and we'd be happy to get back into our own beds. When we got Edward into his carseat he startede crying. This was the forst time he had really cried and i don't think Santana was ready for it. I managed to calm Edward down before Santanna started to join in with they crying, 'Just to let you know I'll be taking lots of walks to avoid the crying. It just reminds me of well y'know.' Santana explained herself. 'It's fine we totally understand.' Quinn said. She'd been there too when Mr Shuester (Our Glee club teacher) had cried...it was one of the most horrific things I've ever seen. But that was years ago Glee club was now just a hazy fuzz one that had ended years ago but some things stay stuck in your head and this was one of them. The car journey was about the same as the one we had taken in the early hours of the morning. With a new baby on board Santana decided to drive like an adult for once as opposed to a 7-year-old with scalextrics.

When we got back Satana and Quinn went staright to sleep- I didn't blame them- it had been a long day after all. I, however, took Edward to be and sung him to sleep. I sung him with all the songs that reminded me of his father, the days that we'd spent together in schools or in New York or our wedding day of how beautiful he was and why I loved him.

Tears started pouring down my face as I started singing:

"I walked across an empty land I knew the

pathway like the back of my hand

I felt the earth beneath my feet

sat by the river and it made me complete"

I cried because Kurt promised never to say goodbye to me and he didn't I had no idea that he was going to die and neither did he. That's what hurt me the most.


	8. Post Mortem

**So that last chapter was long... anywho here's another chapter hope you enjoy it! xoxo~Gracie**

****It had been three weeks since Kurt and Leah had been blown up and a week and a half since Ed was born when we got the results of the post mortem. Because of the state their bodies were in they had to have DNA tests. Of course we already knew the results- the bodies were Kurt and Leah's and yes they were in fact dead- but it still wasn't nice to remember it. I mean we'd all been so busy looking after Edward that we'd _almost _forgotten what had happened. 'Funeral it is then!' Santana said breaking our gaze from the letter with the results.

'I know just what Kurt wants.' I said as I ran off to get one of Kurt's notebooks; a shiny black one with the words, 'After I Die.' written in silver letters. I had read this many times over the past few weeks and cried every time. 'Here' I said when I re-entered the room, 'He wants a simple service, in monochromatic of course, and Rachel to sing for good. He then wants us all to party like there's no tomorrow because "for him there is no tomorrow"' I recited tears pouring down my face. 'If it's what he wanted... what bout Leah? What would she want?' Quinn asked cradling Edward trying to stay calm. 'Pink she'll want lots of pink.' I answered. 'We need a funeral planner. I actually know one. Let me call her' Santana said picking up the phone and walked out the room.

'Well that was quick.' Quinn reacted to the previous conversation as she set Edward own in his Moses basket as she turned round to face me she saw what a state I was in. 'Aww sweetie.' She started embracing me in a grip, 'I know he's gone Blaine it's hard for everyone especially you but we're doing what he wants and that's all we need right now. We have to do just as how he'd want.' She tried to help. 'It's not that. it's just that this is still him. It smells like him it's written by him it's from his mind. It's him' I said emotion pouring out of me. 'Honey.' Quinn said stroking my hair. I handed her a letter written by Kurt to me. Here's what it said:

"Dear Blaine,

I hope for both my sake and yours that you never have to read this. I hope that if I do die before you you don't get stuck. I want you to move on Blaine remember that I love you but don't fell like you have to stay in the past like you're not allowed to forget. Of course I want you to remember me but I can't control what you think. Please remember that when ever you feel alone don't. I'm here for you and I will always love you where ever I am.

Forever yours,

Kurt"

He could have written more. He could have used more intricate language. He could have written more. But he didn't this was him. It had his tear stains and it smelt of him. This was the last pa art of him that I had and I wasn't going to let it go anytime soon.

'Blaine. It's..beautiful. It's so him.' Quinn said crying over the death of her friend, 'It's like he's here. Oh my baby. It's all fine. You know he'll always love you.' Quinn tried to calm me down with tears in her eyes- it wasn't very effective but I knew she meant well. 'He said I could move on... I don't want to. I can't forget him I mean I've aways loved him and I can't imagine anyone else.' I explained. 'You don't have to love anyone else, you have to accept that he's gone and move on with your life. Remembering that he will always love you of course.' Quinn understood the situation perfectly and embraced me in a heart-healing hug. 'I love you Q.' I told my friend. 'I love you too B.' She answered.

'Whooa what's going on in here?' Santana announced walking into the living room where Quinn and I were still hugging. 'Nothing San Quinn was just..helping me understand something.' I didn't want to divulge that information to Santana yet. 'Okay cause that wasn't weird at all... anywayyyy guess who's back!?' Santana obviously had some very interesting news. 'IT'A A ME SAM!' chirped Sam and he entered the room doing his best.' Mario Impression. 'SAM!' Quinn looked ecstatic as she ran into her fiance's arms'I've missed you so much! You've missed so much. I love you!' Quinn mumbled into her fiance's chest. 'Calm down sweetie. Now let me see Edward.' He demanded in a joking style. 'Hey buddy. Here you go.' I said greeting Sam as I picked Edward up out of his Moses basket. 'Blaine...he's beautiful.' Sam said loosing his train of thought completely as I handed him my son. He just stared into his eyes not moving, 'I want one Quinn. Can we get one?' he asked seriously. 'Let's wait until we're married sweetie.' Quinn answered patting the top of his head as if he were five. I tried to contain my giggle. I failed.

For fifth time in as many days, we sat up talking through the night. Edward drifting in and out of sleep through out he night and Sam telling us tales of his latest tour around Europe whilst we sat around the fireplace. We may not be a conventional family but we loved each other and that was all that mattered in that moment in time.


	9. A shocking funeral

**So this chapter is quite short and vague (whoo?) but there's a massive plot twist at the end which I will explain in more detail in chapters to come. oh also, now that I'm back at school, I may not be writing as much but who really know? xoxo~Gracie **

The day of Kurt and Leah's funeral came around faster than expected. Of course we had everything ready but I don't think I was ready for it. We stood under two tents all of our friends and family were there along with some people I'd never met- I presumed they were Kurt's relatives so I just went a long with it. One tent was black and sophisticated; just how Kurt wanted it. The other was pink and sparkly; just how Leah wanted it. We had a plot of land and put their coffins side by side. As the coffins we lowered into the ground Rachel sang 'Amazing Grace' with most of the show choir form school joining in with unrehearsed yet perfect harmonies. Burt, Rachel, Finn and I all spoke. I of course broke down in tears. I'm glad that Edward didn't understand what was going on because the state I was in I don't think I could have dealt with a son asking what was going on all the time.

There are two funny things about funerals and that a- they're not fun even though the name suggests it and b- it's always about 'how they would have wanted it' and usually the person planning it has no idea what they deceased wants. Of course with Kurt and his OCD we all knew what he wanted and just how to pull it off.

After the service, food was laid out around the tents and we ate and chatted and just had a good time- just how they would've wanted it. It was all very jolly (aside form the feeling of death) until a man came up to me. I didn't recognise him but from his age and looks I guessed he was Kurt's cousin, Charles who was in Australia at our wedding, and Burt had invited him. 'Very well done. It's very..Kurt..' he said. 'Thanks you. I tried my best. I'm sorry this is going to sound really rude but we've never met before. I'm Blaine.' I said holding my hand out to him. 'I've heard all about you Blaine. I'm Tyrice, Kurt's... boss I s'pose at his second job. I presuming you know about Kurt's dealing. we'll miss him down on the streets. Anyway nice meeting you Blaine maybe you could pick up form where he left off.' Tyrice said walking away from me. It was all too much to take in. Second Job? Dealing? Streets? Where he left off? W-w-was Kurt a drug-dealer?


	10. I miss you, New York

**Sorry I haven't updated for ages PLEASE FORGIVE ME! Well, I hope you all enjoyed the plot twist! Yeah no one was expecting that (probably). Sorry about that. This chapter is partially a flash back (risky I know) Anywho ENJOY! ~Gracie**

As soon as I realized what Kurt was everything turned into slow-motion. I dropped the bowl of colsaw that I was holding and broke down in tears. Outpouring all of the shock of the previous conversation. No one could know the reason. I could NOT let my memory of Kurt be tainted and the easiest way to do that was not to tell anyone and hope that I could forget it. I mean I had no real evidence that he was in fact a drug dealer. My thoughts went on like this, for what felt like hours but what was probably only a couple of seconds, until Santana came over to me. 'Baby. Let's get you home it's been a hard day.' She comforting me totally out of character. Tears still pouring down my face she helped me to her car Quinn, Sam and Edward in toe. We drove home in silence and no questions were asked about my outbreak. No one knew the reason and they were never going to.

As soon as I got home, I ran upstairs to my room locked the door and completely broke down. More than I had ever done in my whole life. I rampaged the room smashing everything. Tears obscuring my vision sounds. I continued rampaging until I ran out of tears to cry and just slept on the floor among glass.

_'Blaine, Blaine, Blaine baby wake up.' Kurt's voice called waking me up. I rolled over to see my beautiful boyfriend lying next to me as if he had been staring into my soul whilst I was sleeping. 'Morning sweetie. did you sleep well?' I asked him. Our first night living together in New York was one I'd never forget. Everything was perfect we were finally together and nothing was ever going to change that. 'Best I've ever slept because I knew you'd be there when I woke up and never leave.' He answered pure love in his eyes. 'I never want to sleep without you again.' I added. 'so what have got planned for our first day planned in NY?' I asked my boyfriend and roommate. 'I thought you were meant to be planning..' Kurt replied visibly worried. 'No. You said you were...' I said more confused than Britt at breakfast. 'Okay maybe I was..but let's just do what ever you want to do. I mean we're in New York! We could see a musical go shopping on 5th or do anything!' Kurt said thinking on his feet. 'Okay I have an idea.. how about we go and see a musical and then have a picnic in Central Park?' I asked him. 'Great idea but we should go to the nice part of the park..which is over the other side of the city to Broadway...' Kurt replied deep in thought, 'OH I KNOW WE COULD GET A HORSE DRAWN CARRIAGE!'' Kurt exclaimed at his own, rather brilliant, idea; 'Let's go..well let's get dressed first.' I said eager to go. 'Blaine Anderson will you join me in the shower?' My beautiful boyfriend asked me._

_We were seeing each other naked for the first time as not only boyfreinds but also as room mates. Nothing kinky happened in that shower. We talked a little about what we were going to do in the future and we may have made out a little. But who cares? We were in New York and living together. It couldn't be more perfect. 'Hey sweetie. Do you think we're clean enough now?' I cheekily asked as the warm water turned to cold. Kurt answered my question as he kissed me and exited the shower._

_'So what do you want to watch?' Kurt asked me as we were eating breakfast in the cafe opposite our apartment- man it felt weird to say that. 'Well I haven't seen How To Succeed At Business Without Really Trying and Daniel Radcliffe is starring so..' I answered him telling Kurt of my guilty pleasure. 'Okay we'll go and see that.' Kurt gave in even though he'd already seen it- then again he'd seen every Broadway musical one way or another._

_'What do you mean sold out?' Kurt questioned the man behind the glass at the box office. 'Well urm it means that there are no tickets left. Maybe you should have booked in advance.' The man replied sassily. 'Thanks for that not!.' Kurt was obviously frustrated that his first day with me living in New York wasn't going to be perfect. I needed to calm him down, 'Sweetie. Sweetie calm down look you stay here and book tickets for the next performance whilst I pick up lunch. Love you and call me if you need anything.' I said grabbing him around his torso kissing him as I finished speaking. 'Okay babe. love you.' He said to me as I left the foyer of the theatre. _

_'Wow!' I exclaimed as the curtains closed at the end of the performance, 'That. Was. Fantastic!' 'You don't say...' Kurt retorted playfully. 'Hey thanks for today I know it wasn't exactly what we'd planned but eating lunch in the foyer of the theatre then getting kicked out so we had to go and see wicked instead was fun!' I said planting a kiss on his lips, 'And what's important is that I spent it with my beautiful boyfriend.' Kissing him again. 'I love you so damn much Blaine Anderson and I'm so excited to be spending every day with you. Now let's catch some sleep at our apartment it's been a long day.' Kurt pulled me up and his arms around me._

_We walked back to our apartment arm in arm and unlike when we were in Lima we were no longer worried about how people saw us or about the adversity we'd face but now we could be who we were with no worries. 'Oh cupcakes!' Kurt said pointing at the cupcakery across the road. 'What sort of cupcakery is open at 11 at night?' I asked questioning his sources. 'The best cupcackery in New York. Trust me I've been to them all.' Kurt convince me to buy a cupcake; when I say convinced I meant he dragged me across the street and bought a dozen of cupcakes in all different flavours. Whilst Kurt was playing I popped outside and hailed a cab. We both hopped in as we were way too tired to walk all the way back even though the journey by car was only ten minutes long we were happy to be in the warm._

_When we got back to our building we decided not to go back to our apartment but to go onto the roof. We had heard the neighbours say that there were two deckchairs on the roof. No one knows where they came from but they just leave them there as every body uses and loves them. We sat there, under the stars eating a dozen cupcakes. 'I love you Kurt William Anderson and I' so happy to be spending every night sleeping next to you in our apartment.' I professed my love to him even though he had heard it many times. I clambered over to the striped deckchair the Kurt was sitting on and curled up to him, a poncho is a very good cuddling tool, 'If I didn't know any better I'd say you were drunk.' Kurt winked at me embracing my spontaneousness, 'We've finished the cupcackes let's catch some sleep. We both have work in the morning..and I'm cold.' Kurt admitted pushing me off him as he stood up. We walked down the stairs huggled up together and unlocked out apartment. The clock on the wall of the kitchen said that it was three am...how long had we been up on the roof? 'I love baby.' I mumbled as a wandered off to bed. 'Let me join you.'' Kurt follwed me out of the room._

_ .INNOCENT._


	11. Hospital

** I really hope you liked that last chapter (I told you I'd do fluff even though I'm not that good at it) but we're back to depressing stuff in this chapter but it may get better... it may seem like it's a long way off but I'm going to have to start thinking about how to end this so if you have any idea feel free to tell me; I have no idea how long it will be until I end this but yeah. Anywho, enjoy (That's going to be my new catchphrase) ~Gracie xoxo**

'Beep. Beep. Beep' that sound of a beeping machine woke me up but I had no idea what it was or where I was. Did I get drunk and wake up in a clock shop again? Or..oh I remember... 'Ah Mr Anderson you're awake.' A tall, brunette woman in a nurses outfit walked in. She must have seen confusion flash across my face, 'I see you don't remember what happened.' She said rather unhelpfully but nice all the same. 'Well I remember going all crazy and angry then crying and sleeping...' I told her all I knew..well I didn't tell her why I did all of those things. 'Well it turns out that where you were sleeping on some glass and you started bleeding. You pierced your lung and we had to sort it out. You'll be in here for a while because major surgery and blood loss don't really mix.' oh and I'm your nurse, Heather.' Nurse Heather said as she checked my chart. 'There are some people outside who want to see you. Is that okay?' She asked- I liked her already. 'Urmm yeah let them in.' I said not quite sure of what I was doing. She left the room leaving me alone with my thoughts which wasn't a bad idea. I wasn't sure if I should feel guilty for ever doubting Kurt. If I should should be worried about my health or about how they found me. I just decided, rather wisely, that I couldn't decide anything about how I felt until I found out exactly what happened.

'Sweetie are you okay. I'm so sorry I let you down.' Quinn said as she ran into the room embracing me. I hugged her back regardless of the pain in my abdomen. 'Please don't hate me. I'm so sorry. Okay I don't actually know what happened so if you could enlighten me...' I said struggling to breath.'Well we got home and you went all crazy storming around and from the sound of it crying and breaking stuff. and then you stopped. We just thought that you'd gone to sleep but when Sam went upstairs he saw -through the crack in the door- blood everywhere. He rushed in and called an ambulance and they said that you'd pierced your lungs and had several major cuts and that you had to have surgery to sort out the bleeding. But the doctors and Nurses say that you will be okay.' She said tears streaming down her face. 'Oh sweetie I'm so sorry all of this is my fault. I love you.' I whispered as she hugged me. 'Honey it's not your fault that's just they way life goes sometimes.' She said kissing my forehead. 'So where are the others?' I asked changing the subject completely. Quinn giggled and answered, 'Oh they're outside the nurse said only one of us could come in at a time.' She answered. 'And they let you go first?' I asked cheekily tapping her on the nose. 'Bitch please. I let her go first!' Sam joined in as he entered the room holding Edward followed by Santana who, rather out of character, looked like she was crying. 'I'm sorry for putting you through this, guys. I love you and thanks for being here for me.' I whimpered out pouring my heart to those around me, 'Now let me hold Edward!' I demanded outstretching my arms towards my son.

Even though I loved holding my beautiful son and talking to my friends, I couldn't help but be in pain. My lungs felt as if they were going to implode and although I had oxygen being pumped into my lungs I felt it difficult to breath so when Nurse Heather came in asked, 'How do your lungs feel?' I felt I was obliged to answer, 'Horrible. They just hurt all the time and I'm finding it hard to breath.' Even though I didn't want to make I fuss I felt like I owed it to my friends to make sure I was okay. 'Okay well that's normal I mean your lungs were pierced but we'll give you some more morphine and we'll monitor you.' She said adapting the drip which I presume was full of morphine. ' Don't worry sweetie we'll patch you up real good.' She teased patting my head. I loved her already. 'Hey. I'm still allowed to hold Edward right?' I asked slightly scared that she'd say no. 'Of course I couldn't break up such a cute little family.' She chirped pinching Edwards cheeks. He giggled as she did so. 'Hey I know this is a little unconventional but do you want to sit with us and chat. I mean you seem so nice and well I know I'd like to know you better.' Santana spoke completely out of character I think she was still a little shell-shocked after what happened today. 'Urmm..I'd love to. I clock off in about ten minutes so I'll be up then. Is that okay?' She said still staring at Edward.

When Heather came back she was wearing aqua jeans and a busted t-shirt. 'Oh you came!' Sam exclaimed. Seeing a quick flash of hurt appear on Heather's face Sam felt the need to explain himself, 'Not that we didn't want you to or thought that you wouldn't turn it's...wow I'm so awkward.' Quinn was ashamed of her fiance. 'Sit down hunny.' Quinn said patting the chair nest to her as if they were best friends in middle school. As Heather sat down I saw the remnants of a smile..on that looked like it hadn't been formed for a while. 'So what's your story?' Santana asked getting right in there. She looked a little shocked by carried on regardless 'Well I was born on the 14th June 1993 and I had a boring childhood and then I trained to be a nurse...and then when I was 21 I got married to someone called Charles. He was a British and perfect and the love of my life but then he developed a brain tumor and I had to watch my soulmate dissapear before my eyes. It tore me up but I never stopped loving him. He died a year ago and I don't think I'll ever stop loving him.' Quinn was crying but I just developed more respect for her as her story continued. Heather continued talking for a little while, 'So that's my story. What about yours?' she finished. I told her everything...well almost everything. 'Wow Blaine you're so brave..all of you. You are most definateley my favourite patients ever.' She said smiling at us.

We chatted about nothing in particular until 3am when Heather said with a giggle, 'Well I best be off I have to work in the morning. Nice meeting you guys..will I see you tomorrow?' 'Yeah sure. I think we'll be staying here tonight.' Quinn said looking around at Sam and Santana. I completley forgot about Edward in my arms because he'd been lying there for hours sleeping or not making any noise when all of a sudden he started crying as I tried to get up and comfort him I winced completley fogetting about how much it hurt when I moved. 'Oh let me take him sweetie.' San said as she got up and walked accross the room taking him from me. I didn't want to let him go but I knew it was the best thing for him so I let her have him. She took him and immediatley said, 'He's hot. I mean it like not good...'She said clearly worried. Luckily Heather was still in the room. 'Give him here.' She demanded snapping into nurse mode. 'He's too hot. I'm taking him down.' SHe said 'PLEASE DON'T PLEASE OR AT THE VERY LEAST LET ME COME WITH YOU PLEASE i DON'T WANT TO LEAVE HIM!' I creid I could bear to be awy from him when he was clearly in pain. 'Blaine honey you can't go with him... I'll go okay?' Quinn comforted me. She too was obviously worried about him. 'Hey guys I hate to interupt you but we have to go quickly...' Heather said trying to help Edward. 'Go.' I demanded; I was so worried for my son..I couldn't lose someone else I loved. 'He'll be okay.' Sam said looking as me as Quinn closed the door behind her.

About forty five minutes after Heather and Quinn left to look after Edward they came back into the room. 'He's okay just a temperature we sorted him out but he needs to take this medicine every four hours.' Quinn said placing Edward back in my arms. 'So he's okay?' I asked Heather rather cautiously. 'Yeah he'll be okay. Don't worry. Now I reaally have to go home and grab a nap before I start work in two hours' Heather said placing Edward's medicine on the table. 'Byee. And thanks for tonight.' I said as she gave me a tender hug.

'We're gonna go home a get a change of clothes and bring some food and whatnot try to catch some sleep okay?' Quinn said a short while after Heather left. I was so tired that I just nodded. 'See you later, B?' Sam said picking up Edward. They left me alone with my thoughts but they were no longer the negative ones that I had had earlier in the day . I soon drifted off with a smile on my face.


	12. Christmas! Part 1

**So I hoped you liked that last chapter! This morning in the shower, I had an idea for how to end this which yay is good because well I know what I'm doing but the bad news is that I will be finishing this soon I'm thinking maybe 4 or 5 chapters I'm not sure but still. But don't worry I have many ideas for stories and fanfics and whatnots so please don't worry. This is a rather festive chapter because well it's autumn so yeah that's why. I had WAAAY too much fun writing that list. Also, I had to split this chapter into two because it was so long. Anywho, enjoy! xoxo Gracie**

All too soon December cam around and you know what that means CHRISTMAS! It was Edward's first Christmas and we wanted to make it as special as possible so we pulled out all the stops, Burt was even going to dress up as Santa.

Two weeks before Christmas, I went Christmas shopping I had ordered Edward's rocking horse and big blue teddy bear online so I took him with me. I wrote a list of everything I needed on cute little Santa paper. The list went as follows:

_Quinn: That blue bag she loved in macy's, Sam: The new Nintendo thingy, Santana: Those sexy red boots, Burt: Whisky, Carole: Angora cardigan, Rach: earrings, FInn: Damien Hirst drumsticks, Tina: Dm's, Mike: That nice rice wine I found, Puck: Socks :) Sugar: Gift card- she's so hard to buy for and Joe: a dreadlocks wig seeing as he shaved his off._

__The list wasn't that long but once I realized how spread out the shops were and I allowed time for being distracted, it had taken me 5 hours and $500 to buy Christmas...They better like what I got them. At three pm I popped into starbucks to buy a coffee and reflect on today's purchases. 'Hi can I have a medium drip and urm..a cookie?' I asked the blond barista. 'Sure. What name?' She asked. 'Blaine.' I answered- to be honest I find the whole 'what name' thing very tedious. I got my coffee and sat down. When I had finished my coffee and fed Edward (who was being very good), my phone rang. 'Hello. Blaine Anderson-Hummel.' I answered. 'Hi B. It's Sam I was just ringing to tell you that Santana and Quinn are going out tonight for a 'drink with the girls' so shall all of us guys get together?'He asked. 'Yeah sure do you mind calling the others I'm still in town?' I asked him. 'Uh sure do you mind grabbing a couple of pizzas from Costco?' He requested. 'Got it. See ya later.' I said. 'Yeah bye.' He bade farewell to me and hung up. 'Looks like we're having a mario kart tournament tonight sweetie.' I joked picking him up and putting him into his pushchair. He made a giggly noise and so I gave him his favourite cuddly toy, 'Let's go amigo!' I chirped pushing Edward out of starbucks and towards the car.

When I got back home, the boys were all read there so I put all the presants in my wardrobe and ran downstairs. 'Hey guys! Let me just put the pizzas in the oven then we can really start!' I said popping my head round the living room door.

As I reentered the room, I saw Mike, Puck and Sam sitting on the sofa, Edward in his Moses basket and Finn and Joe sitting on the floor. The armchair was left empty presumably for me, 'Stop acting so proud and sit in the arm chair you idiot.' Puck demanded. 'Nice to see you too, Puck.' I joked walking over to the armchair and sat down. 'So what are we doing tonight?' Sam asked expectantly. 'Uh Sam, you organized this aren't you the one that's meant to know?' Voiced Mike. 'Oh yeah.' He admitted disappointed, 'Urm well I have beer and we can have naked pillow fights and get mani pedis and talk about boys..oh wait we're not teenage girls!' He joked. We all burst out laughing, 'I'm fine with a mani pedi.' Puck chirped in. 'Well there's Santanna's nail varnish over there..' I said indicating the vanity case on the book case, 'She would kill you though..' I told him the downside. Finn was obviously in a bad mood, 'Guys shut up! Can we just grab some beers and watch a die hard or something?' He practically shouted waking up Edward who was now bawling, 'Oh well done.' I snapped picking him up and taking him out into the hallway trying to calm him down. He'd only cried this bad a couple of times before and every time I had sang a song from my high school days to him. However, this time no songs came into my head, I was trying to calm him down, so when Sam started singing Hey Soul Sister I was unbelievably grateful and even more so when the other's joined in with beautiful harmonies that reminded me of high school.

_"Hey soul sister, ain't that mister, mister, on the radio, stereo, the way you move ain't fair you know" _We sang the whole song to him even though he stopped crying after the first verse. 'Hey, we're pretty good. We should form a glee club.' Joe stated sarcastically as we finished finished singing and it turned into laughter. For the rest of the evening we sang and got more and more unruly as we drank more and more bears so when the girls got back we were in a beautiful rendition of "I'm a Slave 4 U" all of us half-naked and Edward giggling hysterically in his Moses Basket. 'Looks like you boys had fun.' Quinn joked walking over to Sam and kissing him sloppily on the lips. 'Wait how drunk are you guys 'cause we're pretty sloshed.' I said always being the voice of reason regardless of my blood alcohol level. Quinn's drunkard giggle and Tina stumbling into the living the room. 'PARTY AT SAN'S HOUSE!' Santana said taking a big swing from a bottle of champagne. 'Nah let's get some sleep' Sam manged as Quinn licked his body. Within thirty seconds I heard three things that I'm pretty sure I wasn't meant to but it gave me a little window in to the lives of my friends. The first, was from Mike to Finn in a sinical yet jovial manor, 'Our wives are so drunk. This could be fun.' Which caused Finn to look over to Rahel and give her bedroom eyes. This caused the second thing which was from Rachel to Tina, 'And they have no idea that we are in fact sober.' If this was in fact true they were very good at pretending to be drunk. The last one was between two people who, by the the looks of things, we're VERY drunk, 'I want you right here right now so we can make the baby we've been talking about.' From Quinn to Sam. Unfortunately for them every one heard that and all the attention was on them, 'Oh fuck you heard that didn't you?' Quinn said as everyone nodded. 'WELL WE'RE NOT REALLY DRUNK!' Santana shouted as to draw the attention away from her best friend. 'Hey guys, it's late and well it's best if you all go home..I mean we'll see you on new year's eve and Edward's so tired.' I said indicating to my son in my arms, 'I'm sorry guys.'I felt so guilty kicking them out but I knew it was the best thing to do.

After everyone had left and I had put Edward to bed, I sat myself down on the sofa next to Santana- I wasn't a drunk as I thought I was 'Speak.' I demanded. 'Well urm, You know we're getting married in February, well we want to have a baby.' Quinn said struggling as she was obviously drunk. Santana stumbled over to her best friend and hugged her, 'I'm so happy for you. Now go, go!' She said pushing them out of the room and up the stairs. Five minutes later, we herd some...sounds. 'I'm going to turn in as well.' I giggle failing my best efforts to not to. I grabbed a shower trying to wash the alcohol (and glitter) off my body) and by the time I ahd got out of my extremely long shower the noises had stopped.

Christmas eve came and I awoke to the aroma of mince pies and gingerbread drifting around the house. I got ready and went downstairs- ready to start my day. As I entered the kitchen, I was surprised to see that Santana was the one who was cooking, 'What you up to San?'I asked intrigued. 'Well Sam and Quinn have gone out to buy the tree so I thought I'd surprise them with mince pies and a gingerbread house but my gingerbread house may not be ready in time as I need it to set.' She stated indicating to the gingerbread house. 'Well if there's anything I could help with then I'd be hapy to he-' I didn't get to finish as she handed me a bowl of icing and just said, 'Marshmallows icing roof now!' She demanded. 'Take I chill pill!' I joked starting to stick the marshmallows on the biscuit house.

By the time Sam and Quinn got home, I had finished decorating the gingerbread house and we'd already eaten a mince pie house. When Sam finally manged to drag the humongous tree into the living room and placed it in it's holder Quinn had lay ed out all of the many decorations in a spectrum of colour around the room. It looked amazing and festive even though we hadn't even put anything on the tree yet. Edward watched on cheerfully as the four of us put the decorations on the tree. When we finished, it was almost 3pm and we hadn't even had lunch- time flies when you're having fun- so we grabbed a bowl of soup and finished decorating the house. It looked so festive!

Once we had finished decorating, we all sat down in the living room and watched 'It's a Wonderful Life.' even thought it's an old film it was still so amazing. Just before we went to bed, we ceremoniously placed all of our presents around the tree and added the ones that had been given to us before. As we went around the house singing Christmas songs and drinking mulled wine I felt as if this was going to be the best Christmas ever- regardless of the two missing people from our lives.


End file.
